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August 24,2016 Tuesday Sunny
I went to visit the Great Wall with my friends during the summer vacation. We went there by bus. It took us about two hours to get to there. It was hot and windy . There were thousands people. When we saw a group of foreigners,we went up and talked with them. We told them lots of history of the Great Wall. They were very surprised when they saw that our English were exellent and we knew a lot about the Great Wall's history. They thanked us a lot and we really had a good time. We feel proud of ourselves and being Chinese.
It was a pleasant trip . I will never forget it.
What does the writer want to express?
When to go
With whom
Where to go
How to get
What to do
How to feel
August 24,2016 Tuesday
With friends
The Great Wall
By bus
Talked with foreigners
about the Great Wall
A pleasant trip, never forget
Travel to the Great Wall
Let's get main information from the diary.
August 24,2016 Tuesday Sunny
I went to visit the Great Wall with my friends during the summer vacation. We went there by bus. It took us about two hours to get to there. It was hot and windy . There were thousands people. When we saw a group of foreigners,we went up and talked with them. We told them lots of history of the Great Wall. They were very surprised when they saw that our English were exellent and we knew a lot about the Great Wall's history. They thanked us a lot and we really had a good time. We feel proud of ourselves and being Chinese.
It was a pleasant trip . I will never forget it.
作文修改的思路
连词：适当运用连词使文章的结构更紧凑。 but, because, when, if, at first, after that, finally, that is to say……
句型：适当用一些主从复合句，如定语从句，
宾语从句，状语从句等使语言更丰富。
语法: 时态，语态，拼写，词性，主谓一致， 名词单复数，词的搭配等方面避免错误。
Eg ：Correct these sentences.
I go to the beach yesterday morning.
Jack like playing tennis very much.